This is a hard road.
Shaina and I went downstairs for lunch yesterday. Five minutes after we left, Chaia's blood pressure plummeted. They had everything ready to go to remedy this drop, but then Chaia rebounded on her own. She'd had a very stable week to that point. Mom was gonna get to hold her for the first time since Sunday, and then this.
Then we left for the night and went to Ronnie Mac's. We came back to the hospital this morning to find out that her vent had gotten a pretty significant leak in it. They extubated and reintubated with a new tube. When they extubated, Chaia spit up...simultaneously losing her feeding tube from her nose. So they've had to run a new feeding tube down past her stomach to her intestines (which is where it was before).
She is visibly uncomfortable so they have sedated her.
Shaina and I feel very helpless. We can't pick her up and we can't tend to her. We can't fix it.
It has been a relatively good week, with some moments of significant hope. But sometimes the hope feels like it is slipping. That's when we need you all to hold our arms up more than ever.
Tomorrow Night in so many ways feels like the key battle in this war. I don't know what God will do, but the expectancy in our hearts is high.
This part of the journey is called sadness.
But this part will not win.