No dice friends.
It seems every big moment...every PET Scan, CT Scan, MRA...every defining moment where we needed the breakthrough...needed the answer to prayer...needed the miracle...
We've been devastated.
We needed heart cells to be dormant...they were dead. We needed calcifications to reduce...they increased. We needed bones to strengthen...they've weakened.
The calcifications at this point looked no different than 8 weeks ago. The glass half full contingent among you will note that it looking no different means it doesn't look worse. That may be true. Maybe the treatment has stabilized this nasty disease.
The glass half empty folks say, this treatment was supposed to do the work...clear the calcifications...it's not doing it.
We are more or less out of viable options. We will continue the treatment until a couple other things are ironed out.
I believe with all my heart that Chaia is fearfully and wonderfully made. That each genetic variance. Each one...causing this rare disease...then the rare strand of this rare disease. I've said it before but God is not up in the Heavens in a Trinitarian huddle trying to figure out how the Thompson kid fell through the cracks. "Jesus, did you drop the ball on her DNA?"..."Not me Pops"..."Holy Spirit?"
No she is crafted with purpose and intent for His glory and renown.
Case and point...in an appointment with the neurologist today, he showed us something rather remarkable. The two primary vessels that provide blood flow to the front portion of Chaia's head are narrowing...perhaps to the point of minimal or zero blood flow to her brain. This is a crisis...except?...the two primary vessels that provide blood flow to the back portion of Chaia's head are at least double the size of the average person's vessels...so she actually has as good or better blood flow being supplied to her brain as anyone.
Fearfully and Wonderfully.
I remember my seminary classes...learning that the verb for created in the Hebrew (see Genesis 1) is used a number of times in the Old Testament...but it is only a verb attributed to God.
Only God creates.
I think Paul had this in mind when he wrote in his letter to the Corinthians that if anyone was in Christ, they were a New Creation.
So I think about what I'm asking God for.
I'm asking Him to rewrite DNA. To undo strands that are variant. To make a hellish disease go away by bringing new creation.
I've been hoping for just one report from the hospital that encouraged our hearts and lifted our hopes...and it's just not coming.
Chaia is on borrowed time. We're playing with house money.
But where cardiologists and neurologists and endocrinologists and geneticists seek to sustain life (and in Chaia's case have done so admirably), God doesn't just sustain life. He creates it. Out of death. Hopelessness. Brokenness.
It's what He does. It's His nature.
Chaia needs it. I need it.
And my hunch is you do too.
Bring us to new life in the way of resurrection. Crush us and remake us.
Fearfully and Wonderfully.
We have no where else to turn.
And that my friends is a very good thing.