Wednesday, March 27, 2013

I Hate This

It's out of my hands.

You name it...whether Chaia's heart fails or heals. Whether C3 Mission Communities thrive or sputter. Whether 5 people or 500 people sign up to feed 20,000 kids on April 7. Whether the C3 band is larger than the rest of the people in the C3 Celebration service on April 14.

It's out of my hands.

and I hate it.

There are so many things going on in this many plates to many irons in the fire...sometimes good things happen...sometimes things fall through miserably.

Without a doubt this has been the most difficult lesson that I have learned in church planting (and maybe in life). Success has very little to do with my competency. Victory isn't going to come when I pull myself up by my bootstraps. Achievement is not going to happen when I take the bull by the horns.

It's not your drive.

Your charisma.

Your passion.

Your vision.

Your execution.

Your work ethic.

Your intestinal fortitude.

Let's be and me? We're pathetic.

Jesus said, "Apart from me, you can do nothing." (John 15:15)

Why don't we (I) really believe that? I think I want the Greek to say "Apart from me you can't do as much as you can with me." As if I can find a good deal of success without having to turn over the controls.


Like...zilch. Nada. zero. Can't do a thing.

Unless we abide.

So the control game you play?

The manipulating relationships and situations to your personal gain?

The crafting and spinning of circumstances that you do to make yourself look heroic, or at the least, semi-competent?

It's not working.

And often times everyone around you knows it but you.

You can't.

But He can.

Stop trying so hard.

Because when He pulls off what only He can pull off in something so pathetic like me? He can't help but be magnified.




Made Known.

And that my friends?

Is a better way.

1 comment:

Grandma Cindy said...

Ouch. You punched me in the gut. But I needed it. Needed to be reminded of my utter dependence on Pappa God. That apart from Him... I'm NOTHING. The most difficult lessons are usually the hardest to learn. I'm so thankful He still counts me His student. I've much to learn and re-learn!!