Tuesday, September 25, 2012

A Year Ago

A Year Ago Chaia went via helicopter to Akron Children's Hospital.

A Year Ago we began a journey that would both crush us and rescue us.

A Year Ago today. September 25, 2011...I wrote this:

I've seen my little 3 month old get poked by at least 50 needles today (not hyperbole). In her heels In her hands. In her wrists. In her head. In her groin. Repeatedly...Poked. Prodded.

I've heard Chaia scream in pain with decibel levels and octave ranges I've never heard from her before.

I've seen her get life flighted from Orrville to Akron Childrens Hospital.
(Little Bitter that she has that knocked off her bucket list before me...the helicopter...not the life flight)

I'm staring at her in the PICU right now with more cords, IVs, drugs, monitors and blood than one kid should have in a life time.

I saw one hospital staff spend over an hour trying to get a line fed through her artery and then give up.

There's been talks of pneumonia, pulmonary edema, heart defects, enlarged hearts.

And in all these circumstances a still small voice speaks to the depths of my heart: DO YOU TRUST ME?

Do I trust that God can heal her if He wants to bring His name glory?

Do I trust that God can let her go if He wants to bring His name glory?

Do I trust that God has what is best for Shaina and I, even in the midst of one of the hardest days we've been through as a family?

We had a time of prayer with some friends and family who came this evening and Shaina's sister shared from Psalm 91...I'm stuck on the first two verses. "You who live in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty will say to the Lord, 'My refuge and my fortress; my God, in whom I trust."

Shelter and refuge have a direct correlation to abiding and trusting.

The question haunts me tonight as we try to rest.

And it haunts you too, in every circumstance and situation:

Do you trust me?
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It was true a year ago. It's true today. Trust is the key factor in how you impact (or don't impact) the world.

6 comments:

Jackie Thompson said...

And look how far you've all come! Love you all

Gramma2u2 said...

and her story continues. By the grace of God. She is such an inspiration. She remains in my prayers for you all.

Grandma Cindy said...

Re-living that day with you as I take care of Chaia. And what was true then, is indeed true today. God is LOVE, and LOVE is winning. Praise Him!!

Jessica Hart said...

You trusted Him then like you're trusting Him now and sweet Chaia has come so far! So blessed that I have been able to watch your story unfold and see this miracle in the making. I adore Chaia and love your entire family. Praising God for what He has done...I'll never stop praying for you guys and I hope Chaia has a wonderful week with Grandma!!! As always...kneeling in Springfield:)

Mama Karen said...

This reminded me of an old song we sang in our service on Sunday. So fitting for today:

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take Him at His word
Just to rest upon His promise
Just to know, Thus saith the Lord

Jesus, Jesus how I trust You
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus
Oh for grace to trust him more!

I'm so glad I've learned to trust Him
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend
And I know that Thou art with me
Wilt be with me till the end!

So glad we can trust Him! We trusted him a year ago and we will continue to trust Him for Chaia's complete healing. Hugs and prayers this week!

Anonymous said...

Ben and Shaina- Laura and I took care of Chaia the day she was transferred from Akron to Cleveland. We have followed your blog since then and are absolutely filled with joy for you! I will continue to pray for you all, and I can't wait to see where God takes you!
Lorie Shreiner, RN