Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Don't Look Now.

If you grab the local sports section and look at the NFL standings, you see a sight you had better get used to.

The Cleveland Browns on top of the division.

Sure its the preseason.

Sure our first and second stringers got owned by Detroit.

Sure we have rookies at virtually all the important positions on offense.

Sure every starter on defense is either injured or suspended because of bounty-gate or Performance Enhancing Drugs.

Sure we are now under new ownership which might provide further instability to the revolving door known as Cleveland Browns front office personnel.

Sure our new and improved quarterback fumbled, threw an interception and almost threw another one in his first quarter of NFL action.

Sure we have a history since the reinsertion of the franchise into the NFL of 'what can go wrong will go wrong'.

But push all that to the side and what do you have left?

A coach who hasn't proven anything anywhere.

The hardest strength of schedule to play against in the league this year.

And a drunken fan base that continues to love the Brownies despite their unlovableness.

Oh...And Phil Dawson, our best offensive threat for a decade!

So its time for the annual Mustard Predictions:

The Browns become the fourth team in the division to successfully throw a rookie quarterback under center and make it to the playoffs.

The Steelers don't even make it to .500 this year as lack of an effective running game puts Big Ben back to pass way to much and his virtue becomes his vice as he holds on to the ball too long too much and gets crushed, breaking 13 bones in his body and is out for the season, and with him go the Steelers hopes of the Playoffs.

The Bengals have a lot of reason for optimism with their young offensive stars and their formidable defense. But former Bengal and now key Browns player, Frostee Rucker informs the police via twitter about all the Bengals antics and all but three of their players are arrested and put in prison making BountyGate seem trivial compared to the crime rate in the 'Nati.

Baltimore makes the playoffs behind a good defense and a potent offense. They split with the Browns in the regular season and get the wild card as the Browns win the division.

The best part of the story? In the playoffs, the Browns knock off the Peyton Manning led Broncos in their first game and John Elway is seen crying hysterically in his suite, reversing the curse of "The Drive" and "The Fumble" and then in the AFC championship, they match up with the Ravens yet again. The story line of Art Modell stealing the beloved brownies from Cleveland is avenged by the New Brownies as they advance to the Super Bowl. The Ravens...So humiliated...move their team to Russia. Redemption.

You have to watch the Super Bowl to believe what happens next.

But you heard it here first.

The Brownies = This year's AFC Champions



Shaina ♥ said...


Becky said...

If I didn't know you better I would think that the lack of carbs, caffeine and sweets was messing up your head. However - I do know you and I know that you are a diehard Browns fan and will always believe at the beginning of the season that they are going to win it all. I hope someday you are right but for some reason I'm doubting it - it's good to dream though! :o)

Anonymous said...

I just want them to be able to beat the Steelers at least once this season!
Becky Gross

Jackie Thompson said...

I am so in awe of your enthusiasm, but really?