Thursday, December 13, 2012

Defining Moment

There was a moment that has honestly bothered me more than it should. Was sitting in a prayer meeting a few years ago and a gentleman came to the door of the prayer meeting and one of the pray-ers got up and met him in the hallway. He said he needed to talk to one of the pastors.

The pray-er responded, "Ben is here."

To which the response was, "He's not a pastor."

That cut. Can I be honest? Yes. Yes I can...its my blog.

The thing I am called to. The thing I went to school for seven years for. The thing I've poured myself into. The thing I'm giving my life to and it got disregarded in four words. Because I didn't have an ordination certificate?

It's petty. But it cut.

It was a silly moment...But it cut.

It brought up this wicked thing in my heart that resurfaces quite often as God tries to redeem it. This incessant need to prove myself to others...prove my worth.

And it was in that moment of anger and defensiveness, that God whispered.

"You're called."

It was the most freeing moment of my life in ministry. I may not ever fit the mold. I may not ever meet others' credentials. I may fall short of their expectations. I will fail.

But I'm called.

The temptation to believe a lie that had cut at my heart and my identity was replaced by the still small voice of God, pushing dark back with light.

I'm called.

(For what it's worth, as of 12/12/12, I am also take that gentleman in the hallway!)

But the point I'm making is that there is a moment waiting for you. Where the culmination of your fears and insecurities...the totality of your shortfalls and failures...the pile of your sin and sadness is met with the still small voice of God.

"You're forgiven."

"You're my daughter."

"You're not guilty any more."

"You are free."

"The worst thing isn't the last thing"

"You don't have to do this anymore."

"Your past doesn't define you...I do"

"My grace is sufficient for you."

"Well done, good and faithful servant."

"You're loved."

"You're called."

Whatever it is for you, dig out your ears and listen...

Because this is the moment you've been waiting for.

Because change starts here.


Grandma Cindy said...

And you ARE called! I see it in your eyes... in the way you listen & speak with people... how you pray... the things/people you invest your time/money/energy in. That call of God makes people WANT to be near you, because they sense the presence of the Spirit, and it makes them hunger for the things of God. Yes, you ARE called!! And last night's ordination was a rush! Praising Him.

Mama Karen said...

One thing that is certain....YOU ARE CALLED! Thank you Ben for giving of yourself to help save a world dying from sin. Many are called, but few actually give up everything for the sake of the CALL! Keep doing what you are doing! Happy for your ordination! But even if you had not been ordained, your calling is what is the most important thing! Thank you for answering the Call! Keep on giving them Jesus! (And I'm sorry people don't understand that you don't have to be an ordained minister to pray.) Hugs for you, Shaina and Chaia!