Sorry I missed yesterday.
This passage is pretty much where I'm at right now:
14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
For all the smooth sailing and closeness to God I felt in the first two weeks, I feel bombarded in this last week. I can identify with Paul in this passage. I know what I want to do and what I don't want to do, yet there is a war raging in me to taint or flip my desires. v.24 What a wretched man I am!...I am prone to wander...I am prone to live out of my own strength...I am prone to cast my affections on inadequate lovers (food, money, me, my wife, my career). I am convinced they will satisfy me...that they will complete me. And this divided allegiance is taking me to certain death. Who will save me from my self? From this path of destruction?
v. 25 is the answer...THANKS BE TO GOD, WHO DELIVERS ME THROUGH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD!